Pushing past refusal to follow my purpose

For many of you who are unaware of what a “Hero’s Journey” is, it is the traditional narrative or path of a hero in any given story. 

There are 12 stages that myself and 100+ Fit For Service community members are walking through and examining in our own lives with the first two being Ordinary World and Call to Adventure. I have explored my relationships and the every-day environments I live in as well as identified what my mission and purpose in life is meant to be. 

Now, it’s time for this hero to dive headfirst into stage three: Refusal of the Call. 

We see it in films and novels like The Lion King, Mulan, Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, and even Finding Nemo. Heroes refuse the journey ahead of them because of the fears and insecurities that surface during the Call to Adventure. 

We as humans (and heroes in our own life story) prefer the safe and comfortable status quo of our Ordinary World. We are unwilling to make the hard changes and tend to develop deep personal doubts as to whether or not we are up for the next EPIC challenge ahead.

I am now faced with a choice on my hero’s journey: accept or deny the quest. 

In the movies, the choice seems like a no-brainer. If the hero doesn’t accept the quest, there isn’t much of a story. 

But in real life, where YOU are starring as the hero, it’s hard as hell to really face and reflect on all of the “dangers” that lie ahead. 

In the face of the unknown, that’s when we face our fears head on, and find the fire within to gain the momentum needed to break out of the existing patterns that keep us stuck from moving forward. 

So here I am, leaning into the Call that is scary as SHIT for me but at the same time, truly fuels my fire and lights me up. 

Pushing past refusal 

“You are lighting up when you talk about this next phase of your track, so that tells me keep going,” said Aubrey Marcus to me on our Call to Adventure this week. 

Eek! YES. Thank you Aubrey for the encouragement.

I needed to hear this, I’ll be honest. 

Because I pushed hard this past month to get over some deep fears and finally pull the trigger on moving to California. You see, moving to the beach is the big gesture I needed to make to create space for my heart’s deepest desires: a family, a life partner, and a new home. 

I knew I also needed this push to continue on my adventures in health, non-profits, and supporting others. 

I am getting back to my roots around supporting healthy lifestyles through volunteering at a local garden which manifested in finding the Ecology Center in my new neighborhood. 

I am re-kindling my fire for working for Elephant nonprofits by recently accepting a position with the Elephant Cooperation.

And for my third adventure, the space to create and build EpicLuv Programs that will support others in learning how to take care of themselves and others around them!

It’s pretty F*&$ing magical how the Universe unfolds around you when you simply ask for it and take the time to listen back!

Following my purpose

When I look at the things above that fuel me, I can only refer back to my top core values to enforce why this move is important and in alignment to the future I am ready to create. 

Here is how each of these adventures link to my core values:

1. LOVE: Love, companionship, and partnership move me. I am a better person when I am in a container of love and sharing it with someone. Love motivates me every day to show up, be seen, and become a better version of myself.
   
   *Important to know – it’s safe to do life alone. But love is better when it’s shared with someone you look up to and who makes you a better human.
   
   
2. HEALTH: Volunteering at a local garden and doing the majority of my food shopping at a farmers market are intrinsically linked to my number three core value, health. These are the nourishing environments that I am choosing to create in this phase of my life. These spaces also support and link to EpicLuv programs built around mind, body & spirit, and health!
   
   
3. RELATIONSHIPS & FAMILY: Did you know that the foundation of family is what the elephant represents? Elephants display complex social and emotional behavior, and are said to value their families more than most animals. The females specifically stick together their whole lives.
   
   Working for a nonprofit dedicated to elephants is a key decision in this move to bring me closer to energy around relationships, community and family. It’s bringing me closer to the family and partnership that I will now have space to create!

So here is the truth…this can all be an EPIC fail for all I know. 

But that’s exactly what the “Refusal of the Call” stage is asking me to face head on (failure) and finding it within to continue forward with the adventure. 

I have never lived anywhere outside of Las Vegas.

I have less than 5 friends in California.

I have no clue who my community will be. 

I am juggling both of my residences in Las Vegas and California for 6 months. 

I am going to be stretched financially and may get super uncomfortable. 

The Refusal of the Call is valid. I can already identify the questions that I am asking myself as I walk through the refuse this call:

1. How can I afford all of this? How will I be supported and trust that everything will work out? How do I know I will be in a better place financially once it’s done?
   
   
2. Will I love living in California? Will I love the new friends and community just as much as I love the community that I have built in Vegas? Will they accept me and make me feel at home?
   
   
3. Will I finally surrender to trust the Universe to bring me an amazing partner in life? One that loves me for me and sees my value and worth? One that wants to build an amazing life together in companionship, support, FUN and more?

So it’s valid, but dammit…it’s going to be so worth it! No matter the outcome. 

I will leave it with this…

I am investing in the discovery versus the outcome. That is the significance and my focus as I move forward on this new path. 

I am the Lion Tracker of my own Hero’s Journey. My instincts are telling me to go into the unknown. I am leaning into intense curiosity. Curiosity is the fuel in my move to California, my call to destiny…and it’s bigger than anything that I could have imagined on my own. 

With EpicLuv, 
Melissa